uhh, awkward
General News-
I realize now that, even if DA can be a pain in the ass, having my stuff on another server could be a very good thing if my computer like, you know, dies. ; ;
I have some junk that I guess there's really no point in keeping to myself, so I might as well stick it up here.
Bad News-
I'm really massively frustrated with my art. Like, you guys don't even know ._. I feel so behind for my age group. I'm 17, I should be sucking so much less/ be able to express my emotions much more effectively. Plus my art teacher seems to usually give me a really hard time about my art, but never seems to bother anyone else. (It has nothing to do with anime; I try to realismify my work in that class as much as possible.) I'd be lying if I said it didn't piss me off a little ._.;; I mean, I'm really trying to learn and improve, and I accept critique, but I feel like I get shot down everytime I try something when no one else does. It's quite frustrating. Maybe I just feel this way because it's me?
I don't know, I guess I just have to keep working at improving. If I give up, I won't have anything left ._.; I know it's a requirement if you ever want your art to be any good, but sometimes I almost wish that I didn't let art become such a big part of me, you know? When I fail at something artistic, it feels like a huge personal failure to me. way more than grades or any of that crap ever do. It's so, so hard to be strong about it and take harsh critiques right in the face when it's so personal to you. And the worst criticisms are from myself.
I think my worst fear is that I wasn't meant to do this. Like, that I shouldn't even try to be an artist. I really, desperately hope I'm wrong. Does everyone feel this way sometimes?
If so, I think I understand now why so many artists are really high strung/a little insane XD
Good News-
I just got back from district competitions for drama-ish things, and my costume design event won best of show; that's twice in a row :3 (Only last year I got best tech event in the district, which is even more awesome.) So that was nice ;3;
Oh, and
and I are officially going to Europe and South Africa this summer 
I'm so excited, you have no idea ;3; (Hito: I can barely hold it in! XDD) The fact that this is happening after I graduate is NOT HELPING MY SENIORITUS OH MY GOODNESS I WANT TO GRADUATE SO BADLY NOW ;0; Seriously, I'm having such a difficult time staying motivated XD I don't think I'm gonna get straight A's like I did last semester, guys XD only 67 school days left until graduation! Class of '07, bitches!
Oh, and I was really sad in art today for...bizarre reasons, and
drew me the cutest unicorn consolation picture ever ;3; I almost started to cry again because it was so cute ;3; Oh, and Rachel brought this artbook from the movie "The fountain" to school which was absolutely gorgeous and inspiring. I totally recommend it; I'd always hoped that someone would make a graphic novel in that style. I've never actually seen the movie, but I hear it's really good. Hiro and I will have to have a movie nite and rent it....if I can get him off my Wii first XDD Plus he wants me to see children of men; I guess we'll take turns XD
Weird News-
So APPARENTLY there was this assault/rape crime that was just committed about six doors down from where I live
;; Until the guy is caught, I'm pretty much forbidden to walk around the neighborhood alone o.o;; (Which is fine by me ;3
I'm pretty sure the guy who did it had a beef with the people he attacked, so I don't really think I'm in actual danger. But still, damn o.o;; My neighborhood seems like a pretty nice place, but I guess it's actually rather dangerous; our house has also been burglerized twice ;_; scary ;3; oh, and....omg you guys XDD
[link]
I HAVE TO DO MY HOMEWORK NOW O RLY YA RLY C U L8R
Movingon
Devious Comments
this feelings.. that maybe.. its not what youre meant to do, and that its been wasting your life.. i dont know how to describe when i get those too.. i think.. i just try to keep that what i do in life.. is up to me?
not to sound like a pep talk.. i dont like being told those type of things, but honestly.. what brings you joy.. the fact that you have so much of it in you..
that tells you it right there, i think..
i dont know.. age groups or not, everyone.. has their skill.. it depends on how you draw.. when you started, blah blah, it might, but
as long as you just keep going and try, i think you'll do okay.
personally, i think you have a very different style, (i DONT like calling peoples art anime, at all, because unless they say that thmeselves, even then, i take it for something different, because i hated getting my art called anime when i started out.)
and your color style is very distinctive. honestly, it looks like.. all medium. it has the smooth digital look, but also, this.. textured.. just.. amazing thing going on there. xD
i really love it..
please dont feel down.. art.. wow its got us whipped..
but its worth loving.
: )
x
>.> I'M EIGHTEEN AND ABOUT FIVE TIMES WORSE AT DRAWING THAN YOU. <3
Don't let what Smith says go to your head, she's a bitch. >.> Honestly. I don't think she was meant to teach. And, you know, you're only seventeen. Just because you're not the greatest at some things doesn't mean you'll never improve.
--
"If God controls the land and disease, keeps a watchfull eye on me, if He's really so damn mighty, well my problem is I can't see, well who would wanna be such a control freak?" - Modest Mouse
As far as the "being meant to do this", I'm too stubborn to believe that hardcore in fate, so I say you shouldn't worry about it. And... you're way better than me, and started only after I pestered you about it, so shu' up XD
I think you'd be an artist no matter what. If there /is/ a sense of fate, I think you're doing the right thing.
But I don't understand...your art expresses tons of emotions. When I look at your stuff, its like a bucketfull of Mahi-emotions is dumped on my head. And yes, that is a good thing!
Please don't leave your art behind! I mean, even if that is what you feel like doing...just stop for a second and look at your improvement over the years!
--
I can't wait to graduate too!! I'm so ready to leave this stupid place (michigan UGH) and go to Baltimore for college. I guess I'm mostly just sick of all the work. alot of that was because of Journalism last semester. and we just got new classes Monday. and it seems like everything will be a little more laid back. but there's still gonna be work XD so it sucks. ha. I have like 74ish days left.
As for the art thing, don't get down about it. and don't let other people OR yourself get you down about how good or not good something is. Your art is yours. You control it. I know the feeling of 'so many people are better' But well... their experiences have been different. they may have learned more younger. or just worked alot. But comparing yourself to others just makes you feel like shit. Its probably the worst when you come along someone younger then you who is so much better. It's easy to feel bitter. I know I feel like that sometimes. But in the end, I know my art is mine. and I think that's all ya really need. Being confident in your work is half the battle.
On the topic of realism for an anime artist... well if you have to do it for a class or whatever, yeah you should know how. if you don't like it don't feel so pushed to do it. For the first couple years I was drawing I was firmly against doing realism. And then we had to do portraits in my Art 2 class.. I painted my best friend and did alright with it. and realised its not so bad. though its easier. to me anyways. Now, being able to do realism has helped me out, 'cause I got into art school.. with a realism portoflio that still reflected my style and ideas. My realism and my anime stuff are separate monsters. I can't get my style to work and stay consistent with my anime stuff. and I can never make my realism as "perfect" as I want it to be. But I figure... the more I'm working at it, the more those flaws will fix themselves. and it could take a long time for that to happen. But its all about getting better. Even when you don't realise it you're improving. Just keep drawing and you'll see yourself improving.
Some sleeps are in order.
nighty night,
~Hannah
--
Clubs ~ AFI-Fan-Club: [link]
~+~ Cross Your Heart Out ~+~
Actually, I find that I'm kinda beginning to enjoy drawing realism; I've been doing a lot of it in class :3 Someday I want to belnd all my knowledge and love for different stlye into one style...but that may take years to develop ;0;
And we will somehow conquer this senioritus XD Good luck in college
thanks for the encouragement ._. It really does make me feel better ; ;
and yeah, art totally does have us whipped XDD
Previous Page12Next Page